


Gravwarts?

by PanPacificPines



Category: Gravity Falls, Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: Drabble, Gen, Harry Potter AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-29
Updated: 2015-09-29
Packaged: 2018-04-24 01:10:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4899775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PanPacificPines/pseuds/PanPacificPines
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is just a cute little drabble setting the cast of Gravity Falls in the Harry Potter Universe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gravwarts?

Dipper is worried. Not about which house he’ll be sorted into. No, he’s forgotten to be worried about that just yet. No, he’s scared to death of his real name being called out in front of every other student in the school. He hadn’t had the chance yet to tell the headmaster that he preferred his nickname to his given name and didn’t need his next seven years marred by creative jabs.  
Mabel meanwhile has had her own plan all worked out since the ferry ride over. Her twin hadn’t been able to stop chewing on his shirt as was his nervous tick. He’d only spat it out just long enough to share his terror with her, and of course she understood. She was less prone to manic anxiousness as he was, but she can still understand his point of view.

“Don’t worry, I got your back, bro-bro. It’s all worked out” she says with an exaggerated wink. Normally his very first instinct would be to try to put a stop to whatever clever idea she’d concocted in the down right terrifying place that must be her mind, but today is not one of those days, which itself goes to show how frightened he must really be. “Yeah Dippity-doo. Hakuna Matata.” Ignoring one of his less favored nicknames Dipper went back to craddling his head in between his arms, which at least hid the signature forehead scar that’d marked him for life. His twin got off lucky on that account. At least the newspapers had used his chosen name when they reported the tales of their infant escapades.  
The names come one after another. There doesn’t seem to be any particular order to them. Pacifica Northwest is called out before almost anyone else. She probably found a way to bribe her way to the front of the list. The sorting hat hadn’t even been lowered down all the way before it announced “SLYTHERIN!” to nobody’s surprise. She had her own cheering section of course, and the face on the old relic seemed quite pleased with the speed of its decision.   
Grenda and Candy are called up in turn and are sorted into Hufflepuff without much consideration. They remain seated next to each other, looking for all the world like a set of mis-matched salt and pepper shakers for the rest of the ceremony. Wendy had chatted pleasantly with the twins in between various names, calling out her own personal titles and sarcastic remarks for the students named into house Slytherin. She was a prefect for Gryffindor this year and had always joked that Red-heads instantly make it in and that the twins should consider a dye job so they could join her. Mabel had seriously considered it, but Dipper stepped on that idea just last week. 

When the time comes to announce her name Mabel interrupts with alacrity and shouts “MABEL AND DIPPER PINES!” and rises up from her seat hoisting him up with her, an iron firm grip around the shoulder and walks him up to the seat for the ceremony. She continues to fill the auditorium with words as they walk up to prevent anyone from being able to voice an objection “Yup! That’s right! None other than the Mystery Twins! The very ones! You’ve heard about us! You’ve read about us! ~come on, Dip, I can’t walk for two here~ Yes! The ones and only!”

Dipper is of course mortified by being the center of attention almost as much as he is for participating in a departure from the proper way to conduct an ancient ceremony, but he’s willing to give this to his sister rather than sacrifice her on the alter of public opinion all by herself. He only trips twice as she forces him up to the stage, which all things considered, felt downright graceful at that particular moment. Before he could really process it, and he supposed that’d have to be part of the plan, he was crammed into the old musty chair along side his twin.

“Lay it on us, beardy! Let’s get this show on the road!” Mabel shouted out at the wizened old sorcerer. To his credit Dumbledore is well aware of the need for showmanship, and how devestating it can be for a young ego if such a display is not taken advantage of. He also supposed that it’d be impossible to deduct points from either of their houses as their current actions cannot be held against any house. He chuckled for a moment at the cleverness of the girl’s gambit and relented, resting the brim of the old leather hat atop their crowns, which the girl, Mabel, had pressed together. 

At that moment, the internal universe of the old cap exploded into being, enveloping the minds of the twins. They floated in a universe of possibilities, levitating just above a galaxy of swirling stars, each one made up of memories, decisions and personal connections to others. The gravity of their importance causing them to swirl in a spiral disk. The clouds of gas in magentas, emeralds and ceruleans that enveloped the space in between the personal infinities of their world felt like lost connections, forgotten decisions and loss. They could both feel the suggestion of these truths reflected on their very beings. They just knew all of this. An eternity stretched out in every conceivable direction, other galaxies swirling about in the distance, trails of star vapor made of possibility lingering between most of them. 

“Woah, Dippin’ Dots, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.” anymore more more more… Mabel chanced at breaking the silence that stretched out before them, and although there was nothing for sound to reflect off of, there’s a gentle echo to all of her words, the stars twinkle in response as the imaginary sound waves pass by them. 

“You can say that again.” again, again, again… “heh, Ironic, huh?” uhh? uhh? uhh? at that, a comet, surprisingly more like a snowball than a ball of ice and rock, hit him square on the cheek, followed by a familiar giggling of his other half. “Aaaauugh! Oh, you’re gonna get it now, sister of mine!” mine, mine, mine… Their game had them leaping and flying off of asteroids, they threw gas giants at each other, appearing for all who could’ve seen to be gods at play with the very elements of creation. 

“WHAAAAAT!?” This voice did not echo, rather it seemed to come from everywhere at once from all around them. This signaled a nearly immediate end to their game, though not before a dwarf star careened off of Dipper’s head, sending sparks and plasma flying out into space. Though he thought better of reacting, given the very space around them seeming to talk to the twins.

“What’s All This!? Twiiiins? No, No No, There’s Only Supposed To Be One!” The capitol letters seemed to enter their very minds as the emphasis is put on them. “Away With You Both! Come Back One At A Time!” The infinite world of space and stars began fading from their eyes as the hundreds of staring faces of their classmates began to replace it. “No!” They shouted in unison and they felt an echo of their own hands tugging the old leather down tightly around their heads as the auditorium vanished once more.

Three gaps in the literal fabric of space opened up in front of them, taking upon the visage of two eyes and a mouth of the sorting hat itself.   
“PFAAAHH!” it hissed at them, although clearly it wasn’t fighting against their efforts anymore. “You’re Breaking The Rules!” it whined.   
“Well, tough stitches, mister!” Mabel lectured. “Don’t try that again! My brother and I are a dynamic duo so we’re going into this thing together!”   
“Hah! There’s Much Courage In You, GIRL” it lingered on the last word, attempting to force her back into her place by sheer force of will, but she just puffed her cheeks out and stuck out her tongue at the thing.

“And This One. Yes. Very Interesting, Very Interesting Indeed.” Dipper felt himself lifted into the air and spun around in all directions, aware of the in depth examination of his very being. Mabel’s fingertips barely grazed against her brothers as she tries to pull him back, but he’s just barely out of reach of her. “Waaawoahwoahwoah! Mabel!” Dipper shrieked, flailing for her hand, but his arms were no longer than her’s are.

“Relax, BOY. We Must Look At You.” Finally understanding what’s going on he straightens up to look the being right in it’s eye….sockets. “Yesss, Yeeees. Lots Of Brains Here. Curiosityyyy, Always On The Search for Answersss. Mmm Yes. Quite a Likely Candidate for” It seems to intake a breath, ready to make an announcement “RAV-”   
“Hold on right there, you trumped up top hat!” Mabel pries the invisible fingers off of her twin, finally having built up the will to float up to his position, placing her hand around his shoulder once more. “What part of dynamic duo didn’t you understand! Wherever we’re going, we’re going together!” “y-Yeah! That’s right!” Their arms are now pulling each other close and they glow very tangibly with a golden sibling pride. 

“Aahhh, But Think Of What He’d Be Sacrificing!” 

“Wha?” Mabel seemed disheartened, the glow fading a bit from her side of their embrace.  
“Yeeessss, Plenty Of Opportunities In That House, Yess. Clever Minds, Much Like His Own. Mysteries To Be Soooolved” It intoned, the ends of its mouth curling up, knowing it’d scored a hit. 

“Well I don’t care!” Dipper’s voice cut through the darkness, and though Mabel’s grip on him had slackened a bit, his was as tight as ever, the golden glow emanating from him engulfed the pair as though there were no change at all. “You didn’t look deep enough, you-you-” “Big ol’ baseball cap?” the girl Pines suggested. “Yes! Big Ol’ baseball cap! You must’ve just skimmed the surface if that’s all you saw!” He shouted into the void.   
“Yeah!” Her confidence returning “He’s the Robin to my Batman!” “W-hey, Mabel, Come on now, be fair.”“Come on Broseph, if Aaaanyone is the sidekick around here-”  
“A-HEM” The voice interrupted. "Yes, Well….“ The shadowy folds of the eyes gave the illusion of looking from one to the other. "MOVING ON, THEN!” It attempted to pry the female twin apart from her other half but to to avail. Their will was at least temporarily triumphing over its own. “Well, Be That As It May…” It peered into her consciousness and down deeper into the lower depths of her personality, the very core of her.   
“There’s Bravery Here, True. Ambition. Bounds Of Cour-What’s A Grappling Hook?” the pair of them stifled a giggle as that question barbed them. “Oh, you know, adventuring gear, mister hat. Way more useful than a magic wand!” 

“Hey, Mabes, we don’t know that yet-Wait! Did you bring it with you!? There’s no way that’s allowed here!”   
It became infinitely more difficult to read either of their minds while they bickered and chuckled back and forth. The two of them are far more ….formidable than either of them separately, and a more daunting task than I could have guessed.

It allowed itself to muse over the possibilities while they busied themselves. “AHEM” it cleared its nonexistent throat. “Can We Come To Attention!?” Now far less frightened of the being before them, the Pines siblings allowed themselves a few more playful arm punches before deciding to end their spat on their own accord. “Okay, so blah, you already know what we want, hat-man-thing. We go together!” Mabel reminded it.

“So You Say, So You Say. The Boy Has Great Ambition, While You, Young LADY” it seemed to drop into sarcasm for a moment “Have Incredible ….Presence” It decided, rather politically. “There’s A Connection There, It’s True…” “Juuuust remember” Mabel beamed, her braces twinkling like stars “If you don’t put us in the house with the pretty lion, then we’ll be seeing which house a giant pile of bear poo gets sorted into!” The temperature, that prior to that moment had gone completely un-noticed seemed to drop several degrees at that declaration. Although her brother elbowed her in the ribs at that remark, he could sense that she was more than prepared to make due on her threat. For just a moment Slytherin crept across the mind of the consciousness of the hat, but it really didn’t want to answer that question either and decided it best to adjourn their meeting.

Reality changed all at once, strings of meaning sparking between the stars of the galaxy they’d half forgotten beneath them. The light from the center of the mass shone brighter and brighter as the whole mass spun faster and faster until it was replaced by a blinding light, which quickly faded into the glow of the dim candlelight of the great hall. Something had been shouted at great volume by the hat atop both of their heads, and silence reigned in the room for just a few moments until a great roar filled it. Cheering and applause echoed from wall to wall and the gentle pressure of the hat was removed. 

“Bromingham, did you hear what it called out? Do I need to dig into my secret prank bag?” She turned her head to face him and he was beaming, grinning from ear to ear “No worries, sis. We get ‘the one with the pretty lion’ alright.” The girl shrieked and embraced her sibling with a bone crushing hug until a bolt of blue static shot from his forehead to hers and knocked them both to the floor amidst giggling and a short bout of pokes, punctuated with a blue shock firing from their fingertips with each hit.

“Oh my, I wonder how long that will last?” The deputy headmistress inquired, gripping brim of the hat firmly in hand as she eyed her superior quizzically. The old man simply smiled and gave an exaggerated comical shrug. “A moment before the next name, if you please.” a familiar voice whispered from the hat. The two looked to each other and then out into the great hall. There’s more than enough revelry to distract their audience for now. 

“Yes, good sir hat, what is it you wish to say?” Minerva asked, turning towards the headmaster to add some level of privacy to their conclave. “Mark my words. Those two will be trouble. Only the most powerful of minds could have troubled me as they did. If you’ve got this stone shack ensured make sure you double check the policy before classes start.” Stroking his great beard, Albus Brian Wulfric Percival Dumbledore rasped out “Perhaps you were simply taken by surprise by two young excitable minds at once, master hat?” The crinkled old brown leather folds grimaced. “not a chance on your life, headmaster. And if you don’t mind placing me someplace fireproof until next year. I’ve a dreadful fear that the whole place might just burn down before that.”


End file.
